The Weight We’re Carrying

Overwhelm is everywhere and for good reason. The pace of modern life asks more of us than ever. There’s the pressure to keep up, to stay on top of work, family, finances, the news, our phones… all while somehow staying well, rested and connected.

You might feel like you’re always behind, always on or like there’s never quite enough time, energy or money to catch your breath. When overwhelm becomes a constant companion, it can leave you feeling disconnected from yourself, your life and unsure what to do next.

However, overwhelm isn’t always just about busyness. Sometimes, it’s a signal or a clue that something’s out of alignment and what you’re doing, or how you’re doing it, might not be quite right for you. Overwhelm can be complicated so let’s look in a bit more detail about what might be going on beneath the surface.

Where Does Overwhelm Really Come From?

Overwhelm is often the result of many pressures stacking up at once and they can fall into two main types: external and internal.

External pressures are the demands coming from outside of you:

• Work deadlines and job expectations

• Financial strain and the rising cost of living

• Family responsibilities or caring roles

• Constant demands on your time and attention

• The pressure to respond, to keep up, to always be available

These are real and valid and often not easy to change.

Then there are internal pressures. These come from within:

• Feeling like you should be able to manage more

• Self-criticism, perfectionism or people-pleasing

• Carrying the emotional weight of everyone else’s needs

• Trying to live up to expectations that don’t really fit you

• Feeling disconnected from your values, purpose or identity

For some people that’s not the whole story as overwhelm can also be shaped by your body, health or past experiences. If you live with a chronic illness, mental health condition or are simply burnt out, your nervous system may already be running on empty. Small things can feel like too much, not because you’re doing anything wrong but because your capacity is already stretched.

For others, overwhelm isn’t about having too much to do. Instead, it’s about lacking meaning and not feeling connected to what you’re doing or who you’re doing it for. That quiet sense that something’s off, even if everything looks fine on the surface.

Recognising these different layers of overwhelm doesn’t fix things overnight but it does give you somewhere to begin.

Facing the Bigger Questions – Gently!

Sometimes overwhelm is trying to get our attention, not just about how much we’re doing but why we’re doing it and whether it fits with a life that feels meaningful to us.

Often, it’s best to start with quietly asking yourself:

• Is the way I’m living aligned with what matters to me?

• Am I spending my time and energy on things that give back or just take?

• What parts of my life feel like they belong to me and what parts don’t?

These aren’t easy questions and the answers might not come quickly. Sometimes you know something needs to change but the reality feels more complicated. Maybe:

• You feel stuck in a job that drains you but you rely on the salary

• You’d love to slow down but caring responsibilities or bills keep piling up

• You want to make space for something new but you don’t even know what that would be

If that’s you, then you’re not failing or broken. You’re someone who’s carrying a lot, trying to make the best of a situation with real constraints.

However, here’s something to remember and hold onto gently: if nothing changes, nothing changes. It’s like a quiet kind of dare – to not let your one life be dictated by overwhelm or sacrificed to misery just because it feels like there’s no way out.

You don’t need to overhaul everything but you do deserve a life that feels like it belongs to you. Sometimes that begins with a whisper of honesty: This isn’t working. Then, one tiny step – one moment of clarity, one decision, one act of self-trust.

Over time, those tiny steps become a path and a way forward. That doesn’t mean you’ll feel out of difficulty entirely but hopefully moving towards something that feels more sustainable, meaningful and aligned.

Small Steps When You Feel Stuck

If you’re thinking, “This all makes sense, but I still don’t know what to do with it,” you’re not alone. Sometimes just recognising your overwhelm and where it’s coming from is a huge step, especially when you feel like you don’t have much room to manoeuvre.

Instead of trying to fix everything at once, ask: What’s one thing I can do to make this a little lighter?

Here are some starting points that don’t require big changes, just small shifts in awareness:

• Notice your early warning signs
  Overwhelm often creeps in slowly. Do you notice yourself getting more irritable? Scattered? Forgetful? Tired in a way that rest doesn’t fix? Living in a mental fog? Learning to spot these signs early gives you a chance to pause before things build too far.

• Create small pockets of relief
  Even five minutes of quiet, a short walk, or doing something that connects you to yourself (e.g. music, nature, journaling) can help reset your system. It doesn’t have to be dramatic, just something that returns yourself back to you for that small amount of time.

• Let go of one ‘should’
  What’s one expectation you’re carrying that no longer fits? Maybe it’s replying instantly to messages or saying yes when you mean no. Give yourself permission to put one thing down, even temporarily.

• Ask different questions
  Instead of “How do I fix everything?” try:

• What do I need most today?

• Where do I feel most disconnected?

• What gives me even a moment of calm or joy?

• Talk it through
  You don’t have to figure this out alone. Who can you speak with honestly and openly? Sometimes just saying it out loud makes things feel clearer, or at least a little less heavy. If you’re not yet at a stage to speak with someone, jot your thinking down in a journal or diary or should you be more of a tech person, dictate it into your device. You’ve then done some of the heavy lifting already if the thoughts are out of your head and documented for when you feel more able to move forward with them.

Remember: small steps are real steps. Even noticing what’s not working is a form of progress. Change often begins long before anything looks different on the outside.

You Don’t Have to Have All the Answers

Overwhelm can feel like a fog…thick, heavy, hard to see through but even the smallest points of clarity can begin to shift things: recognising what’s not working, giving yourself permission to feel what you feel, asking questions, even when the answers aren’t clear yet.

You don’t have to overhaul your life to move forward. You just need to start gently noticing what’s weighing on you, what matters to you and where there might be space to breathe.

Maybe it’s not the right time for big decisions and that’s okay. This is about planting seeds. Trusting that when you listen to yourself, something new starts to grow…slowly, in your own time.

If this kind of reflection feels too heavy to do alone, that’s okay too. Support is out there, whether it’s talking to someone you trust, finding space in community, or working with someone to explore things at your pace. You don’t have to figure this out by yourself.

© Rebecca Jones 2025. All rights reserved. 

The content in my blog posts is provided for your general information purposes only, that maybe of interest to you. Please remember it has not been created with your specific circumstances in mind and therefore should not be relied on as medical advice or any other type of advice.